Ohhhh Gosh...
So, I'm sitting here in the Duke Computer Lab waiting for my group...They are LATE and lame for being late so I'm just gonna let loose on the blog...no one has written in a while :(
Who is stressed out, raise your hand! Thats what I hate about senior year! I remember last summer thinking about senior year and thinking how great it was gonna be. The misty day dreams included lots of time hanging out with friends, long walks in the country, runs through the burg, going out with the house, relaxing and soaking up the memories we have shared over the past few years. Those day dreams came to a skreeeeeeeeetching hault once senior year began. The image that comes to mind to describe senior year now is like our psycho cat- Mr. Knightley! Always running from one thing to the next, a nap here and there, falling off counters, getting into trouble, hoping for someone to spend time with if they were not so busy too.
The only difference being, Knightley doesn't cry. He meows, but tears don't stream out of his eyes and down his face. I feel like crying is becoming a common theme with my senior year...and I know you all know that oh too well. I don't quite know what it is about crying that makes you feel better even when you feel miserable at the moment. I can cry cause I'm happy or excited about something (like the birthday all you wonderful house mates put on for me), I can cry when I'm sad, I can cry when I'm confused, frustrated, anxious, lost...But the most frustrating cry is when you don't know what you are crying about! And that kind of cry seems to come oh too often. Today I was sitting at my desk, and it just happened, tears started streaming down my face...Ok, I know that today there are a lot of factors that are playing into that, but it just felt good to cry!
I am getting sad as the year is fading out...I don't want this time to end. Although I am psyched out of my mind about Kenya, that too brings fears with it. And I think these fears stem from the fear of being alone. You all have been so great over the years to be there for me in the good times, the hard times, the ugly times and the times I need to cry. I'm afraid of that not being right in front of me. Sure, you all will be a phone call away and for some of you just a short car ride, but its going to be different.
Annnnnnd now I'm crying in the computer lab :( ...still waiting for my group. I just hate change... with a passion! These next few months are going to bring lots and lots of change into our lives starting with graduation...we are no longer going to be college students. Then there is the transition back into the parents house without the Doll house light at the end of the tunnel. Then once summer ends, there is no more going back to JMU---seriously??? And then a few months after that there is Africa! Wow, like I said, lots and lots of change!
Ok...so now that I am a Debbie downer, I should probably say something good!
Regardless of how hard change is on me, I know it is gonna be good! Think about it, we are all going to be doing this we LOVE to do...sure, we won't all be together, but it will give us something to talk about! Leah, in the next week, you are gonna find out where you are gonna be next year and you know it is going to be where God is going to grow you so so so much! Catherine, you have two options, of two great churches to work with youth...and you are gonna rock at it! Sarah, although you are gonna be in Harrisonburg, you are going to be trained to do something you love! Today when you were telling me about that girl in your class who loves Africa, I can see how great of a teacher you are gonna be. You aren't gonna settle for allowing your kids to reach the minimum, you are gonna have them aim high beyond their dreams of their potentials. And Hannah, you are going to be in California doing your first year of nursing! How great is that! Every day you get off of your shift, you can go to the beach and relax!
Guys, I don't think "Go Big or Go Home" should be just a Senior year slogan...I think it should pretty much be tattooed on our lives. Because, as the song goes...This is the end of the beginning! Get excited about the unknowns in life...those unknowns are not unknown to God. God has each of our paths planned out for us. I am so thankful that God had our paths cross for four years! He gave me eight wonderful shoulders to cry on and four beautiful friends to grow with!
I love you all!
~Kate